Friend or Foe? (Relationships with Students)

Student/teacher relationships are such a controversial issue. It has always been said that teachers need to act professional, especially since they are being looked up to inside or out of the classroom. Where is the line between personal and professional when it comes to student/teacher relationships? For this blog, I set out to find my position on the issue of if these relationships are beneficial or not. I ended up finding that with every example and reason of why teachers should not promote a relationship based on friendship, I was able to counteract it with another exception. This was frustrating and felt like a came of cat and mouse. Here are some of the ideas I came up with:

One of the downsides to having student/teacher relationships is that if you have this with one student, you must try to have one with every student. There are some students who will find it unfair if they see you always talking to the same kids in the class. They will begin to think you, as the teacher, are biased towards the students you have been viewed to favor. The student without the personal relationship can quickly challenge grading, arguing that you are a more lenient grader to those that are the “teachers’ pets”.

This outlook for any student is not going to be positive or productive for learning. The focus for the student may change from being an asset to the class in the beginning of the year, to a much more negative feeling of being unimportant to the teacher, and therefore the class as a whole. As educators, it is our responsibility to give each student an opportunity to feel welcome and safe in the classroom environment. If we do not keep relationships at the same level with each student, it will cause some students to feel intimidated and stray them farther away from the positive aspects of the class.

On the contrary, I find that having a relationship with students can actually be very beneficial for their learning. In my own personal experiences, I have had teachers who are willing to open up right away and want to get to know everything about each individual student. These teachers were not afraid to find out about a student’s personal life, or let students into an aspect of their own personal lives. I found myself sitting in their classrooms much more focused then those teachers who were just in front of the room to teach and not try to get to know anyone. With those teachers who wanted to get to know me, I wanted to know them in return. It was much easier participating in class and homework became more fun then tedious. Once I knew a teacher cared about me, and my education, I cared about the class more and wanted to do my part in creating a community within the classroom.

As long as you are conscious about making an effort to reach out to all students, regardless of their grade level or behavioral issues, having a student/teacher relationship is acceptable. It can add to the atmosphere of the classroom and create an even more opportunities for students to take risks. With this, it is important to remember that teachers are viewed as role models in today’s society, and need to act professionally.