The Teacher/Student Relationship

In the movie, Half Nelson, I think that Ryan Gosling’s character crossed the line in a number of different scenes.  He never should have put himself in a situation where students could discover his drug usage.  He was lucky Drey was mature enough to handle the situation and furthermore, was able to benefit from it.  But what if another student had found him? It could have easily been a student who would have freaked out and went and told the whole school.  On top of the fact that he would have lost his job, he might have traumatically affected a student. If I were 13 years old and I found a teacher, someone who I looked up to, in such a vulnerable state in the girl’s locker room, I would have definitely been traumatized by the situation.  As educators, and as mature, experienced adults, we should never put our students in such an uncomfortable and compromising situation.  With that comes the question, are all educators mature and/or experienced? Maybe not. But when we go into the educational field, we make the choice to care for our students’ well-being and are consciously putting ourselves in a leadership position.  If we do not hold this to be true, or allow this idea to falter through our actions, then we are not living up to our educational responsibilities.  I am not one to judge Ryan Gosling’s character for his life choices, but there is a time and a place for everything and doing drugs in a school environment is not the right time nor place.

Mr. Dunne was so interesting to me because there was this constant struggle between his identity as a normal person and his identity as a teacher.  There is no doubt in my mind that he cared about his students, but he also let the line between his personal and professional life begin to fade.  This forced me to think about where we, as music educators, draw the line when it comes to allowing our students into our personal lives or allowing ourselves to be a part of theirs. 

I think that it is critical to develop relationships with students that go beyond the normal teacher/student relationship.  In thinking about community, one idea that I feel strongly about is the need for social capital.  If I am a believer in social capital, then I absolutely believe in the power of a strong teacher/student relationship.  Figuring out how to go about that, though, is the difficult part.  When I think about my educational career thus far, I can think of a number of relationships that I had with teachers that went beyond me just going to class, taking notes, and doing the assigned homework.  I had friendly relationships with a lot of them.  Do I think they were inappropriate? No.  They were actually the teachers that I learned the most from.  When I think even harder, however, I wouldn’t necessarily call those teachers friends.  They were people that I knew I could be a little more laid back with, but were still people that I respected.  They allowed themselves to be open and vulnerable, and yet, there were still boundaries present.  I think that this is the key to a good teacher/student relationship.  It is the type of relationship that allows for openness and yet keeps in mind the fact that you are still a student and I am your teacher.  It is such a hard line not to cross because with openness comes trust and the desire to completely be yourself.  But as educators, it is our job to be the ones who are constantly monitoring those boundaries and who are making sure that we are not crossing that fine line between what is considered good interpersonal relationships and what is inappropriate within school walls.